Nothing helps me celebrate this holiday like a bunch of propositions.
Student #1: Hey, Short Legs.
Me: Hey, Owen.
S1: What you doin' tonight?
Me: Who can say? Probably dinner with my boyfriend.
S1: I'll take you out.
Me: Aw, thanks, but you should probably just get your homework done.
Hours later, addressing the changing economy and rising oil prices:
Student #2: Your husband ain't taking you out?
Me: Boyfriend. And I'm not sure what we're doing yet.
S2: Ooh. I would take you out to a movie and Benihana....
Me: Benihana?! Wow. Do you have plans with someone?
S2: Nah.
Me: You should do something nice for your mom. A little chocolate.
S2: I'll give her gas.
Me: Ah. Well. That's what every woman really wants.
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