They're Really Just Cotton Boy Shorts

When I wore black underoos, it wasn't because I wanted a compliment from the buzzed lady who accidentally walked into my bathroom stall.

We'll call that a fringe benefit.

More Rewarding than a Bag of Sunchips

It's Cinco de Mayo.

I should already be drunk, but instead I'm dressed like I'm drunk.  I figure it will go a lot further, without inhibiting my ability to drive when I get sent home from work.