Every once in a while I run into someone as stubborn as me*. JoAnna is a piece of work. And by 'piece of work' I mean "I hope I never see her again for as long as I live because her myopic, prejudicial, money-grubbing made me ill."
Here are some more conversational snippets from this weekend:
"I shouldn't have to help people. I'm helping myself. I've got enough to do."
"So we don't have any responsibility to other people; to provide for others who are less fortunate?"
"I'm not paying for some homeless women and children. I give a week at my house in Florida which is a $10,000 value for the cancer research fundraiser every year."
----------
"But I got screwed because of the lesbian judges."
"What does that mean?"
"What?"
"What do you mean by that?"
"Lesbian judges hate women to get things without earning them."
(Blink, blink, mouth gaping)
----------
"Oh, hey. Could you put your bag on the other couch? It's just that those are $9000 couches."
"Mhmm."
----------
"Oh, is that a reflector?"
"Yeah."
"Those are great. I have one of those... Actually, I have two."
----------
"Oprah spent $50000 on flowers for her 50th birthday party. Now that is excessive."
"Some people would argue that a $9000 couch is excessive."
"I didn't pay $9000 for that couch. It's worth $9000."
"Mhmm."
*Myself? I? Dammit, I don't even know what's right!
Monday, October 31, 2005
Sunday, October 30, 2005
I Ate New York
1. We had dinner with Chris on Friday night. He is one of the Minnesota Escapees: a smallish group of people who evacuated our lovely land after college graduation. And we want him back.
Chris comes up with ideas like quantifiying fun (My six fun at dinner totally beats your three fun at the museum) and storing porn on iPods. We three went out for Thai food at Jing Fong, a place on Elizabeth and Houston (they pronounce it "how-ston" which is another of many ways to spot a tourist in this city) and then
2. To Tom and Jerry's--even the dive bars are packed with people and have twenty-foot television drop-downs.
3. We concluded our evening out at Loreley with some drinks on a frigid patio and Chris' stories of scream-vomiting and other oddities of city living.
4. Brunch in Chelsea yesterday. Vento. They played Nick Drake and Pavement and made the meanest Eggs Benedict I've ever ingested. And even when I ordered Decaf Earl Grey, she brought me English Breakfast because she just knew I wanted it more.
4. Last night we had dinner on a bed. It was 14 fun. The purple awning is their only indicator. Walking down the street 27th and 10th, you find only three labeled buildings (Home, Guest House, and Scores). We knew we were in the right area, but we called three times in a one-block radius. If you have to ask... We rode up in an elevator and on the other side, beautiful, costumed people awaited us. Superhumanly beautiful. Ehhh. Can't. Talk. Beautiful. So Matt and I waited at the bar with the most expensive mojito this side of the Mississippi. And eventually we were led to the bed where another couple was already seated, removed our shoes, put on the Bed Socks. [Occassionally when I'm eating really expensive food, I think (and this is also a function of my extreme cheapness), "I would rather just have some T-Bell." Not at Bed.]
5. We went and found Chris at a Halloween party. Best Costume went to Franzia. A girl went as boxed wine AND WINE CAME OUT OF HER COSTUME. That is inspired. Matt and I went as People Who Just Ate On A Bed And Were Really Enjoying The Decadence Of New York City. It wasn't a huge hit. But then we snuck Chris away for a pitcher of Stella Artois and said our untilwemeetagains.
Chris comes up with ideas like quantifiying fun (My six fun at dinner totally beats your three fun at the museum) and storing porn on iPods. We three went out for Thai food at Jing Fong, a place on Elizabeth and Houston (they pronounce it "how-ston" which is another of many ways to spot a tourist in this city) and then
2. To Tom and Jerry's--even the dive bars are packed with people and have twenty-foot television drop-downs.
3. We concluded our evening out at Loreley with some drinks on a frigid patio and Chris' stories of scream-vomiting and other oddities of city living.
4. Brunch in Chelsea yesterday. Vento. They played Nick Drake and Pavement and made the meanest Eggs Benedict I've ever ingested. And even when I ordered Decaf Earl Grey, she brought me English Breakfast because she just knew I wanted it more.
4. Last night we had dinner on a bed. It was 14 fun. The purple awning is their only indicator. Walking down the street 27th and 10th, you find only three labeled buildings (Home, Guest House, and Scores). We knew we were in the right area, but we called three times in a one-block radius. If you have to ask... We rode up in an elevator and on the other side, beautiful, costumed people awaited us. Superhumanly beautiful. Ehhh. Can't. Talk. Beautiful. So Matt and I waited at the bar with the most expensive mojito this side of the Mississippi. And eventually we were led to the bed where another couple was already seated, removed our shoes, put on the Bed Socks. [Occassionally when I'm eating really expensive food, I think (and this is also a function of my extreme cheapness), "I would rather just have some T-Bell." Not at Bed.]
5. We went and found Chris at a Halloween party. Best Costume went to Franzia. A girl went as boxed wine AND WINE CAME OUT OF HER COSTUME. That is inspired. Matt and I went as People Who Just Ate On A Bed And Were Really Enjoying The Decadence Of New York City. It wasn't a huge hit. But then we snuck Chris away for a pitcher of Stella Artois and said our untilwemeetagains.
Friday, October 28, 2005
New York Crazy
It smells like maple syrup in this room.
That's about the only nice thing I have to say.
(According to rules once dictated by my mother and other holy people, I should say nothing that is not nice). Mom and the holies, please don't read on.
So we're in New York (Surprise! It was all very spontaneous. We didn't confirm a place to stay until Thursday night. Surprise, again.). We're staying with this woman who rents out rooms in her $3 million apartment to buy the place from her ex-husband. She brings strangers in her room every night, but she's also sure that he is paying off the doormen to rat her out: "I know it was the black one. That one there."
It's all very dramatic. And racist.
She picked us up from the airport and then gave us her tour of NYC, all the while narrating her various skills and celebrity connections:
"I'd like to do stand-up. I'm very funny."
"I once got hit by a cyclist."
"I'm writing a book and a screenplay. The script is about a couple of dog walkers who fall in love in Central Park. I'm calling it 'Central Arf'."
"I'm a great driver, but I've been doing it since I was 16."
That's about the only nice thing I have to say.
(According to rules once dictated by my mother and other holy people, I should say nothing that is not nice). Mom and the holies, please don't read on.
So we're in New York (Surprise! It was all very spontaneous. We didn't confirm a place to stay until Thursday night. Surprise, again.). We're staying with this woman who rents out rooms in her $3 million apartment to buy the place from her ex-husband. She brings strangers in her room every night, but she's also sure that he is paying off the doormen to rat her out: "I know it was the black one. That one there."
It's all very dramatic. And racist.
She picked us up from the airport and then gave us her tour of NYC, all the while narrating her various skills and celebrity connections:
"I'd like to do stand-up. I'm very funny."
"I once got hit by a cyclist."
"I'm writing a book and a screenplay. The script is about a couple of dog walkers who fall in love in Central Park. I'm calling it 'Central Arf'."
"I'm a great driver, but I've been doing it since I was 16."
Wednesday, October 26, 2005
Matt is Not a Robot (and how I did not get beaten by a Robot...or Matt, a human)
[Disclaimer: There was no abuse. This is not a cry for help. This is a cry for carpeting at work. ]
I fell down the stairs yesterday.
Hard, cold stairs.
Face first.
I had time to grab the railing while my body wrapped over and my left leg mangled itself under the rest of me.
The woman walking down the hall behind me played it so cool, pretending not to see me until she got within a few feet. Why do we do that? Why do we ignore each other? Whyyyyy aren't we all Good Samaritans....whyyyyyy? I needed her help to get up.
And now I'm wearing pants that are too long. I started off with double-sided tape but now I have a rhinestone brooch (on the inside, of course!) pinning up one leg to make them short enough so I don't have to wear heels and risk another tumble. Not that one leg is longer, but that one leg was staying up with double-sided tape until I got to work.
I fell down the stairs yesterday.
Hard, cold stairs.
Face first.
I had time to grab the railing while my body wrapped over and my left leg mangled itself under the rest of me.
The woman walking down the hall behind me played it so cool, pretending not to see me until she got within a few feet. Why do we do that? Why do we ignore each other? Whyyyyy aren't we all Good Samaritans....whyyyyyy? I needed her help to get up.
And now I'm wearing pants that are too long. I started off with double-sided tape but now I have a rhinestone brooch (on the inside, of course!) pinning up one leg to make them short enough so I don't have to wear heels and risk another tumble. Not that one leg is longer, but that one leg was staying up with double-sided tape until I got to work.
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
A Diagram for the Visual Learner
This is from Elise, who is the foremost authority on matters of classification. International press conference pending...
Monday, October 24, 2005
Wednesday, October 19, 2005
Gifts of Paper Should Be Sent To:
I just realized that it's Our First Blogiversary! I want to take this chance to say publicly that I love you, deletedeletedelete.blogspot.com. It has been a beautiful year. It seems like just yesterday that I was merely stalking Dooce, pretending we were friends and that's why I knew her legal name and the various phases of Leta's development-- when I met Blogger and agonized over a name and a user name and a web address. Those were the days (the anxiety-filled, short-entry days, don't-tell-anyone-about-this-blog-but-secretly-please-do-because-I-secretly-love-blogging days).
So. Let's celebrate. A year. A twenty-third of my life during which time I wrote regularly. I feel something akin to pride. Yep. Yep, it's pride.
So. Let's celebrate. A year. A twenty-third of my life during which time I wrote regularly. I feel something akin to pride. Yep. Yep, it's pride.
Keeping Vital Fluids To Myself
How it should have happened:
"But this is good blood! People want this blood!"
As they drag me away from the donation tables,
"You can't not want me!"
And then I re-open my finger prick wound with my teeth and spray my good blood over all their precious recovery foods.
And then I get arrested for being too giving.
How it happen-happened:
"I'm sorry. Your iron content is 37%. We need at least 38."
"Uh. But what if I take a multi-vitamin and come back after lunch?"
"It won't make enough of a difference."
"[mumbles]"
"Beg your pardon?"
"Oh...nothing...I was just...I'm a failure. [sigh.]"
"No. You're not. Just eat more green leafy vegetables and some red meat and come back in the spring."
"If I eat them today...?"
"No difference."
"Right."
"Right."
"But this is good blood! People want this blood!"
As they drag me away from the donation tables,
"You can't not want me!"
And then I re-open my finger prick wound with my teeth and spray my good blood over all their precious recovery foods.
And then I get arrested for being too giving.
How it happen-happened:
"I'm sorry. Your iron content is 37%. We need at least 38."
"Uh. But what if I take a multi-vitamin and come back after lunch?"
"It won't make enough of a difference."
"[mumbles]"
"Beg your pardon?"
"Oh...nothing...I was just...I'm a failure. [sigh.]"
"No. You're not. Just eat more green leafy vegetables and some red meat and come back in the spring."
"If I eat them today...?"
"No difference."
"Right."
"Right."
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
Stop Judging Me!
I packed a lunch today. I never do that. Not since studenthood or my brief-but-hideous stint working downtown for Corporate School America.
This morning I had a few extra minutes before I left the house and I thought that this would be a good day to try staying at work the whole time. But I need time away. It was like trying full day kindergarten.
Oh, it's so pathetic, but I must tell you everything, Internet. You are always pressuring me. My lunch:
1 pear
1 peanut butter sandwich on Johnnie bread
2 mini York Peppermint Patties (yum eeyum yarmmmahrrghh)
1 bottle of Sriracha
1 baggie of Tostitos lime tortilla chips
I gave the rest of hot sauce (certainly too much to throw away, but not enough to take home) to my co-worker who thought he'd try some on his chicken. I assured him that just a little would suffice for each bite. A minute later: "Woo. Wooo! How! This could slow down my chicken eating a little bit. I mean you could only eat so much at a time. Yeow. Wow."
This morning I had a few extra minutes before I left the house and I thought that this would be a good day to try staying at work the whole time. But I need time away. It was like trying full day kindergarten.
Oh, it's so pathetic, but I must tell you everything, Internet. You are always pressuring me. My lunch:
1 pear
1 peanut butter sandwich on Johnnie bread
2 mini York Peppermint Patties (yum eeyum yarmmmahrrghh)
1 bottle of Sriracha
1 baggie of Tostitos lime tortilla chips
I gave the rest of hot sauce (certainly too much to throw away, but not enough to take home) to my co-worker who thought he'd try some on his chicken. I assured him that just a little would suffice for each bite. A minute later: "Woo. Wooo! How! This could slow down my chicken eating a little bit. I mean you could only eat so much at a time. Yeow. Wow."
Monday, October 17, 2005
Unfiltered
We suspect he thinks no one notices.
Our neighbor has been "quitting" for the last 5-10 years. Apparently he's very close now. He steps outside to smoke and hunches behind his SUV to smoke, or strolls a few feet down the block, as if his family doesn't see out their picture window. As if they've lost their collective sense of smell and can no longer recognize the nasty stink on him when he comes back inside.
He stood and marveled at the fresh air in Minnesota. While he smoked.
Aaahhhhhsome.
Our neighbor has been "quitting" for the last 5-10 years. Apparently he's very close now. He steps outside to smoke and hunches behind his SUV to smoke, or strolls a few feet down the block, as if his family doesn't see out their picture window. As if they've lost their collective sense of smell and can no longer recognize the nasty stink on him when he comes back inside.
He stood and marveled at the fresh air in Minnesota. While he smoked.
Aaahhhhhsome.
Sunday, October 16, 2005
Just A Small Town Girl
More people getting married, more people drinking heavily and more people singing loudly to Don't Stop Believin'.
My mom wants to know about the resurgence in popularity of Journey. I say their popularity was never in question in my mind.
Matt and I did a duet (not to Journey. We're talking about something else now). A song I've been preparing mentally for about a month and vocally about a week. Let me tell you about waiting a month to get one chance at one song for your friends' wedding. You start to think it is the most important thing you will ever have to do. You start to sweat during unrelated conversations when it occurs to you that you'll be singing into a microphone for people to hear. They will all forget about it as soon as it's over. But you do not know that.
You can only think about the amount of alcohol/caffeine/spice you should be refusing in order to preserve your voice for this one moment. THIS FLEETING MOMENT.
Until you see the video cameras.
Oh, God.
They are going to videotape it. Somebody might see this again.
And then your heart stops beating for thirty seconds.
The next thing you know the song is over and you will stop shaking sometime in the next hour. Until you remember the video camera.
So you find your girls and you find the DJ and you play the air guitar.
Until you see the video camera again.
Now you've been caught singing and 'dancing'. So you change your name and skip town.
(Posted by Anonymous. Totally Not Posted By Sriracha.)
My mom wants to know about the resurgence in popularity of Journey. I say their popularity was never in question in my mind.
Matt and I did a duet (not to Journey. We're talking about something else now). A song I've been preparing mentally for about a month and vocally about a week. Let me tell you about waiting a month to get one chance at one song for your friends' wedding. You start to think it is the most important thing you will ever have to do. You start to sweat during unrelated conversations when it occurs to you that you'll be singing into a microphone for people to hear. They will all forget about it as soon as it's over. But you do not know that.
You can only think about the amount of alcohol/caffeine/spice you should be refusing in order to preserve your voice for this one moment. THIS FLEETING MOMENT.
Until you see the video cameras.
Oh, God.
They are going to videotape it. Somebody might see this again.
And then your heart stops beating for thirty seconds.
The next thing you know the song is over and you will stop shaking sometime in the next hour. Until you remember the video camera.
So you find your girls and you find the DJ and you play the air guitar.
Until you see the video camera again.
Now you've been caught singing and 'dancing'. So you change your name and skip town.
(Posted by Anonymous. Totally Not Posted By Sriracha.)
Friday, October 14, 2005
Oh, My, My, Oh, Hell, Yes
Stenographer's Transcript
Judge: You are charged with Gross Misuse of the Comma. How do you plead?
Me: I plead innocent. I missed that day way back in elementary school, Your Honor. Along with fractions. And multiple digit subtraction.
Judge: (pause) Hey, do you like Ashlee Simpson?
Me: ummmm...
Judge: I should warn you of the perils of perjury on the stand.
Me: ummm....
Judge: Just plead the Fifth, young lady.
Me: Yes.
Judge: Yes, you do like Ashlee Simpson?
Me: ummm....yes?
Judge: Cuff her.
Me: It was a trap!
Voiceover: Another Ashlee Simpson fan framed on trumped up charges of wrongful punctuation.
Beep!
"It's Dan. I was just seeing if you're watching the Ashlee Simpson special right now because it is a blogging gold mine."
Judge: You are charged with Gross Misuse of the Comma. How do you plead?
Me: I plead innocent. I missed that day way back in elementary school, Your Honor. Along with fractions. And multiple digit subtraction.
Judge: (pause) Hey, do you like Ashlee Simpson?
Me: ummmm...
Judge: I should warn you of the perils of perjury on the stand.
Me: ummm....
Judge: Just plead the Fifth, young lady.
Me: Yes.
Judge: Yes, you do like Ashlee Simpson?
Me: ummm....yes?
Judge: Cuff her.
Me: It was a trap!
Voiceover: Another Ashlee Simpson fan framed on trumped up charges of wrongful punctuation.
Beep!
"It's Dan. I was just seeing if you're watching the Ashlee Simpson special right now because it is a blogging gold mine."
Thursday, October 13, 2005
Keep Old Noods, But Make New Shoes
Another reason to love them: the ancient noodles were not made from wheat like modern noodles, but from millet, a type of grain that, along with rice, formed the foundation of agriculture in ancient China.
And I am now accepting submissions of favorite words. Please explain your decision in no fewer than 3 reasons.
And I am also accepting submissions of cute shoe suggestions for fall footwear. I'm in a pedal quandry. A flipflopsarenolongerprudentasmytoeshavebeguntofreeze sort of dilemma. And I don't really do heels. So. Let's make it a contest of creativity for you, my five-to-ten regular readers. And if no one participates, the contest goes to me. Extra points and consideration will go to Sharpie drawings (which you can email to me*) unless they're better than mine, in which case I win also.
Open season on words and shoes starts now.
*enoughaboutyou@gmail.com
And I am now accepting submissions of favorite words. Please explain your decision in no fewer than 3 reasons.
And I am also accepting submissions of cute shoe suggestions for fall footwear. I'm in a pedal quandry. A flipflopsarenolongerprudentasmytoeshavebeguntofreeze sort of dilemma. And I don't really do heels. So. Let's make it a contest of creativity for you, my five-to-ten regular readers. And if no one participates, the contest goes to me. Extra points and consideration will go to Sharpie drawings (which you can email to me*) unless they're better than mine, in which case I win also.
Open season on words and shoes starts now.
*enoughaboutyou@gmail.com
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
Reason and Riesens
I'd like to take some time out today to ask the big questions.
1. Non-alcoholic beer has a little bit of alcohol. Does caffeine-free Diet Coke actually contain traces of caffeine?
2. (This one goes out to Monica, who is hopelessly far away and my Monday nights are the worse for it.) Should I have a blog? (This is a silly question. I already have one. I like to ask myself though, just to be sure.)
3. A question submitted via email from Germany: Hey pizza is cool - do you has been in italy - there where the pizza comefrom ??
4. Where, where is that sound coming from? Is there a marble rolling around in my car? What if I get in an accident trying to avoid turning because of the sound it makes when the marble skips from one side of the floor to another?
5. Why do Riesens create so much extra saliva? The dark chocolate? The biting and jaw-cracking density?
1. Non-alcoholic beer has a little bit of alcohol. Does caffeine-free Diet Coke actually contain traces of caffeine?
2. (This one goes out to Monica, who is hopelessly far away and my Monday nights are the worse for it.) Should I have a blog? (This is a silly question. I already have one. I like to ask myself though, just to be sure.)
3. A question submitted via email from Germany: Hey pizza is cool - do you has been in italy - there where the pizza comefrom ??
4. Where, where is that sound coming from? Is there a marble rolling around in my car? What if I get in an accident trying to avoid turning because of the sound it makes when the marble skips from one side of the floor to another?
5. Why do Riesens create so much extra saliva? The dark chocolate? The biting and jaw-cracking density?
Monday, October 10, 2005
Race Relations
Wait. I can't be a movie ruiner. If you haven't seen Crash, don't read this. It will spoil a piece. A small piece. Ok. If you want to....If you dare, read on.
I can say no. I say no all the time.
Like when my coworker dreams up another project and asks if I want to be involved: NO. Are you sure? YES. See? That was tricky. I said yes, but it was about my being sure about my no.
Let me give you some more responsibility that has nothing to do with your actual job. I think you'll like it.
Nope. Nope, I wouldn't. But thanks so much for thinking of me.
I feel akin to Don Cheadle's character in Crash. He's up for a promotion, but just because of his ethnicity. That is so me.*
You don't have enough to do, White Girl. I'll give you some more white work and then we'll get your sister cleared of her circus offenses.
Oh, no you don't. I know how this story ends. I saw the movie! She'd die AND take credit for the groceries I brought home to mom.
*Note: These projects would have nothing to do with my racial background. At all.
I can say no. I say no all the time.
Like when my coworker dreams up another project and asks if I want to be involved: NO. Are you sure? YES. See? That was tricky. I said yes, but it was about my being sure about my no.
Let me give you some more responsibility that has nothing to do with your actual job. I think you'll like it.
Nope. Nope, I wouldn't. But thanks so much for thinking of me.
I feel akin to Don Cheadle's character in Crash. He's up for a promotion, but just because of his ethnicity. That is so me.*
You don't have enough to do, White Girl. I'll give you some more white work and then we'll get your sister cleared of her circus offenses.
Oh, no you don't. I know how this story ends. I saw the movie! She'd die AND take credit for the groceries I brought home to mom.
*Note: These projects would have nothing to do with my racial background. At all.
Friday, October 07, 2005
For His Girl, Friday
Mom thinks he calls her anything, everything else because he hates the name Sandy. (He doesn't.)
Herbicide, because she kills plants,
Doc, because she thinks she knows everything (PhD or MD depending on the circumstances),
Alice, because of the Honeymooners (a reference that totally escapes me).
Gert...Ace...Stein...assorted words they have made up in their years together.
Anything but Honey. They always erupt into hysterics if one accidentally 'honey's the other. They reserved it for me and Carly waaaaay back.
She calls him by his given name. Always. She calls the rest of us David, too. And it is always two distinct syllables. Day-vidd.
It's their anniversary today. Technically, right now. He brought home flowers tonight because she is taking tomorrow off and he wanted her to have them all day.
Flowers. All. Day.
Poof.
Herbicide, because she kills plants,
Doc, because she thinks she knows everything (PhD or MD depending on the circumstances),
Alice, because of the Honeymooners (a reference that totally escapes me).
Gert...Ace...Stein...assorted words they have made up in their years together.
Anything but Honey. They always erupt into hysterics if one accidentally 'honey's the other. They reserved it for me and Carly waaaaay back.
She calls him by his given name. Always. She calls the rest of us David, too. And it is always two distinct syllables. Day-vidd.
It's their anniversary today. Technically, right now. He brought home flowers tonight because she is taking tomorrow off and he wanted her to have them all day.
Flowers. All. Day.
Poof.
Thursday, October 06, 2005
Sigh No More, Ladies!
I'm getting closer to a font. I can feel it.
No, it's ok! You! Stop crying! I've almost got it! Somebody cut the soundtrack.
I contacted Noodles & Co. today (per Muffin's suggestion) to see if they could help. I love noodles (and the company). I will tell you why.
1. Noodle is my favorite word because it can mean macaroni and fettucini AND brain.
2. I eat my feelings and they taste better as pesto-covered pasta
3. It is the second part of another amazing word: canoodle.
4. It's squabby 2 tha MAX (Elise, do you want to explain the triumvirate of squinn, squab, squo? I could use a guest writer for this one, if you're available.)
5. I can cook them myself.
6. I like to abbreviate it, "noods"
7. This correspondence from earlier today:
From: enoughaboutyou@gmail.com
Sent: Thursday, October 06, 2005 7:43 AM
To: pr@noodles.com
Subject: noodly fonts
Dear Noodles,
I love your font and I'm in the market for a permanent switch. Is it available to the general public?
Thanks,
From: kelly@noodles.com
Sent: Thursday, October 06, 2005 10:33 AM
To: enoughaboutyou@gmail.com
Subject: RE: noodly fonts
Hi,
Which font are you referring to? We use a number of different fonts -- for signage, the logo, menus, promotional/ad campaigns... If you can get more specific, I'll look into it for you. Some of our fonts are custom, but if they are publicly available, I'll be happy to let you know what your chosen one is called.
Sincerely,
Kelly
Noodles & Company
Director, Corporate Communications
From: enoughaboutyou@gmail.com
Sent: Thursday, October 06, 2005 9:48 AM
To: kelly@noodles.com
Subject: RE: noodly fonts
Kelly,
Thanks for such a quick response! You are only improving the Noodle image.
My preferred: the menu font.
Sincerely,
From: kelly@noodles.com
Sent: Thursday, October 06, 2005 10:33 AM
To: enoughaboutyou@gmail.com
Subject: RE: noodly fonts
Hi,
Neutra Text Demi is the font we use on our handheld menu. You can try www.fontbureau.com to purchase it if you like!
Take care,
Kelly
No, it's ok! You! Stop crying! I've almost got it! Somebody cut the soundtrack.
I contacted Noodles & Co. today (per Muffin's suggestion) to see if they could help. I love noodles (and the company). I will tell you why.
1. Noodle is my favorite word because it can mean macaroni and fettucini AND brain.
2. I eat my feelings and they taste better as pesto-covered pasta
3. It is the second part of another amazing word: canoodle.
4. It's squabby 2 tha MAX (Elise, do you want to explain the triumvirate of squinn, squab, squo? I could use a guest writer for this one, if you're available.)
5. I can cook them myself.
6. I like to abbreviate it, "noods"
7. This correspondence from earlier today:
From: enoughaboutyou@gmail.com
Sent: Thursday, October 06, 2005 7:43 AM
To: pr@noodles.com
Subject: noodly fonts
Dear Noodles,
I love your font and I'm in the market for a permanent switch. Is it available to the general public?
Thanks,
From: kelly@noodles.com
Sent: Thursday, October 06, 2005 10:33 AM
To: enoughaboutyou@gmail.com
Subject: RE: noodly fonts
Hi,
Which font are you referring to? We use a number of different fonts -- for signage, the logo, menus, promotional/ad campaigns... If you can get more specific, I'll look into it for you. Some of our fonts are custom, but if they are publicly available, I'll be happy to let you know what your chosen one is called.
Sincerely,
Kelly
Noodles & Company
Director, Corporate Communications
From: enoughaboutyou@gmail.com
Sent: Thursday, October 06, 2005 9:48 AM
To: kelly@noodles.com
Subject: RE: noodly fonts
Kelly,
Thanks for such a quick response! You are only improving the Noodle image.
My preferred: the menu font.
Sincerely,
From: kelly@noodles.com
Sent: Thursday, October 06, 2005 10:33 AM
To: enoughaboutyou@gmail.com
Subject: RE: noodly fonts
Hi,
Neutra Text Demi is the font we use on our handheld menu. You can try www.fontbureau.com to purchase it if you like!
Take care,
Kelly
Tuesday, October 04, 2005
Identity Crisis
I realize it's time to abandon Comic Sans. I can't commit to a new font. I'm temporarily spending some time with Arial, but it feels wrong. And I tried Papyrus for a few minutes, but it's too pretty and pretentious for my work emails.
Sigh.
It's bigger than that, isn't it?
Oh, Lord. I'm having a Garden State crisis/coming of age and it's manifesting itself in font choice and shoulder strain.
And lashing out at co-workers' interns.
Please. Send help.
Care of the Circus.
I'm running away to find Carly.
Sigh.
It's bigger than that, isn't it?
Oh, Lord. I'm having a Garden State crisis/coming of age and it's manifesting itself in font choice and shoulder strain.
And lashing out at co-workers' interns.
Please. Send help.
Care of the Circus.
I'm running away to find Carly.
Monday, October 03, 2005
Possession is Nine-Tenths of the Law
I like my space. It's mine. ME!
Truth:
It's awkward when you find somebody working at your desk. It's awkward when that somebody is an intern and you have all sorts of confidential shit laying around in your various shit piles and that person is sitting, working on your computer.
"Hey, do you need me to get up?" What do I say?
"Um, yeah."
"Ok."
"Ok."
And then I make a Chandler Bing Face of Disbelief when his back is toward me as he casually amasses his own shit and moves away from my desk.
So I tell our third office mate, trying to get a read: is it weird that I don't want an intern on my 'puter? I shouldn't get upset about that, right? Tell me I shouldn't.
She says, chill out, it's ok. It's normal for an intern to take available space.
The next day, I get an email from Third Office Mate who found Intern at her desk, on her 'puter, on her phone...
Hey, Everybody, it's time for a Meeting!
Truth:
It's awkward when you find somebody working at your desk. It's awkward when that somebody is an intern and you have all sorts of confidential shit laying around in your various shit piles and that person is sitting, working on your computer.
"Hey, do you need me to get up?" What do I say?
"Um, yeah."
"Ok."
"Ok."
And then I make a Chandler Bing Face of Disbelief when his back is toward me as he casually amasses his own shit and moves away from my desk.
So I tell our third office mate, trying to get a read: is it weird that I don't want an intern on my 'puter? I shouldn't get upset about that, right? Tell me I shouldn't.
She says, chill out, it's ok. It's normal for an intern to take available space.
The next day, I get an email from Third Office Mate who found Intern at her desk, on her 'puter, on her phone...
Hey, Everybody, it's time for a Meeting!
Sunday, October 02, 2005
Homecoming 2K5
I should start off by letting Alida know that I know now that her name is not Adina. That was my bad. And as soon as I said it, I thought, "Shit. Why is she making that face at me? What did I say? That's not her name! What's her name?!" I forgot. And I was not drunk. I'm just an ass.
And that was just in my first hour.
Later, we toasted St. Joe, each other, and the guy who stole Mo's car. And the officer who found it the next state over: "You may want to bring an air freshener. It stinks. Have a nice night."
It was replete with drinks (oh, how we drank), dancing (oh, how we danced), and an unexplained injury (a nearly fatal splinter was removed thanks to Jay's impromtu car key surgery).
Thanks to all who made last night possible, including Mary's floor and Mary's roommates' blankets and Mary, herself, who was totally unsurprised when I asktold her that I was staying overnight.
And that was just in my first hour.
Later, we toasted St. Joe, each other, and the guy who stole Mo's car. And the officer who found it the next state over: "You may want to bring an air freshener. It stinks. Have a nice night."
It was replete with drinks (oh, how we drank), dancing (oh, how we danced), and an unexplained injury (a nearly fatal splinter was removed thanks to Jay's impromtu car key surgery).
Thanks to all who made last night possible, including Mary's floor and Mary's roommates' blankets and Mary, herself, who was totally unsurprised when I asktold her that I was staying overnight.
Saturday, October 01, 2005
All Points Bulletin
Carly tried on this mask last night and ran off with the Cirque. The last time I saw, she was running into the Big Top with the tumbling men.
Please.
There's no reward, but if you find her, you can stay around while she tells the story of her capture.
Please.
There's no reward, but if you find her, you can stay around while she tells the story of her capture.
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