My little sister Carly's getting hitched next weekend. Holy shit, you guys.
We took her out this weekend to get totally wasted on her own body's toxins. As in, topless.
After the massages, we each got all 20 of our nails done. Joyce, my technician gave me tips for my Maid of Honor speech. Her personal favorite: give keys to men all over the room and have them return the keys to Carly during dinner.
Get it? Get it, like my sister's a slut?
Listen up, Joyce: only I get to make that joke.
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