Starbucks, you selfish bastard.
You lure me in with your boast of being a hot-spot and your delicious blended coffee. It’s bad enough to be a Siren, but YOU LIED. You didn’t tell me that I’d have to pay for wi-fi. I’ll take a vanillablendedcremewithwhippedcreamandfreewirelessinternetaccess, please. But you don’t serve those. And now here I am with my pretty little Acer, but I’ll have to take my 'puter home before I can even post this rant against you!
And another thing, when I say I want whipped cream, what I mean is, “No. I don’t. It gives me a tummy ache. Please. Don’t give the girl whipped cream.” I realize that’s a little confusing. Just pretend it’s opposite day.
I wish I couldn’t get access to the internet here.
This is so convenient.
It doesn’t get any more convenient than this.
What? Are you too good for reverse psychology?! I HATE YOU, STARSUCKS! Take that and DON'T REVERSE IT!
3 comments:
Um, hello? What you want is a Dunn Bros., STAT. They have truly free wi-fi and WAY better coffee. Fo' real.
Dunn Bros. coffee is gross. But, the atmosphere is better, and free wifi. But the coffee is still gross.
I hear Anonymous is one hot man. Or woman. Since s/he's anonymous.
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