Makes Shopping a Bit More Complicated

It is Saturday and I forgot I have a blog since I haven't seen it in a while. New firewalls at work. V. Alarming.
In other (equally upsetting) news, I think I'm allergic to caffeine. I gave it up after much headaching weirdness two weeks ago, and today needed a little boost before my read-aloud to a class of misfits (enter Diet Pepsi). Now I'm feeling like maybe somebody punched me in the heart when I wasn't looking. Thumpthumpthumpthump (breath) thump tha thump thump, etc, etc.
(Probably in no way connected to the 25 donut holes I ate, so I won't even mention them.)
(But if I were to mention them, I would give an slightly unrealistic number so you would know I was joking.)
(But it would be closer to the real total than I'd ever admit in person.)
Johnny told me this week that I should start working on a stand-up routine. It's not like the three jobs I'm working take up that much time, so I'm looking into it. Joke ideas so far:

• Whoever invented paperclips obviously didn't intend for them to be used as barrettes. But I think things with similar names should be put near each other in the supermarket. Paperclips are by hairclips, which are by noseclippers and giant clipper boats. All in the same aisle.
• Something about planetariums.