Places to put stuff

If you were my teeth, you would have
A. zero cavities
B. no cavities
C. four cavities, or
D. not one cavity
If you were my teeth, you would be getting a serious lecture from
A. no one
B. me
C. the dentist, the hygenist, and the receptionist
D. both B and C
I blame my FOUR cavities not on lack of flossing or brushing, but a high count of sneakily selective drugs administered to me by my sister at dinnertime so that during the dead of the night, she may sneak into my room unannounced, pry open my mouth and strategially place sugar therein.
And I'll tell that to the insurance company.
And then we'll sue my sister.