Sweating in South America

It's 8 pm in Buenos Aires and I'm putting off a shower, since it'll be two or three hours before we go out to our beefy wine-y dinner. Portenos know how to eat, but I'm not sure they can teach me how to stay awake long enough to digest.
Our hotel is lovely wonderful. In a bit, we will sit on the rooftop, drink a bottle of Malbec, and chat about the 50 stray cats in the park today.
If you come back as a cat, move to the Botanical Gardens. Those mini tigers are treated like kings.
Er.
Whatever.

Buzzing In

I'm having some trouble putting together cohesive thoughts lately (and finding the motivation to get out of bed for work. Something in my brain has trouble with Hi, we don't want you anymore, but since we have to pay you through June, just keep showing up.). Thank you for all of your support. I had a lot of beer and hugs and prayers this weekend. Perhaps those are part of the problem. Prayers kill brain cells!

• I have some strongly worded letters to write to some administrative higher-ups, so I'm going to let that simmer a bit while we are gone to Buenos Aires. Matt, Nicki and I are off on Friday. Any tips? Any legal souvenir requests?
• I've delayed grocery shopping, so my sustenance is either from a restaurant or the giant basket of aged tortilla chips on our kitchen shelf. I'm a little desperate. I almost stole some food from bookclub last night to eat as lunch. I'm almost ashamed to write that. Almost.
• At 4:30 pm this afternoon, I will be watching Minneapolis improvisor Fred Beukema on Jeopardy. They taped a while ago and he signed 400 confidentiality papers, but he has posted some about the experience. Neat!
• It's Carly's birthday today. Hi, Sister. I hope you get a serenade over your Ariel Barbie cake. Just maybe skip the candles, because otherwise you'll get a half-day at work and the other half of the day will be filing a deposition with the Brooklyn Center PD.

Free Like Cheesybread

My mother has taken to sending me e-Catholic Greetings. I'm hoping I'll get one today, since I just got laid off.

Is there a Patron Saint of the Unemployed?

What they actually said was that they would be "reallocating funds associated with [my] position." I was the one who had to clarify it meant that I wouldn't be here next year. I'm safe and paid through June, but the district is cutting $2 million and my little position is one portion they will not be funding anymore. I suppose they would probably let me do it anyway.

I was a champion, Friends.

I did not cry.

I stressed the importance of my work here and my connection with the students over these last 5 years, and how they should be sure to figure out where those responsibilities are going: hip hop, butt plugs, investigation of bus incidents, teaching them how to be hypocrites adults.  I will miss some of them more than others.

But it's time for a new adventure. I'll need your prayers and your beers and your hugs.  

Celery, Celery, So Crunchy

Matt and I are in London for the weekend to photograph a special birthday party at the Dorchester Hotel. Peep this, you guys. P.I.M.P.
I'm recovering from a rough flight/time changeroo by watching a kid's show with a Blue's Clues-y song about vegetables. It deserves a visual aid, so remind me to show you when we return. Airplane food tried to ruin this trip for us but I will be damned if I am going to miss an opportunity to eat Cadbury's at the source. Especially when our little American monies can buy more than it could before...
Love and replenished fluids.

National Anger Management Month

Ever since my birthday left, I've been irritable.  The day with all the beer and presents doesn't come around again for 12 months.  I was thinking, today, about all the rules I have in place for human interaction--the ones people don't even know they're violating. If I wrote a motivational book, it would be part really mean and part less mean, so you'd forget about the mean as you moved through it.

Possible Chapters:

1: If you’re going to do something and it’s something that you generally do because it’s your job, just frigging do it.  If you get all tweaked out about the details, and you're not an event planner, people won’t want to work with you anymore.

Me people.  I don't want to work with you anymore.

2: Idea!  Every normal task you do during the day, time it with a stopwatch.  It's more fun if it's a race against yourself.  It's like regular you, but faster.  Warning: Not for readers prone to heart attacks. 

3: If I have to bounce my leg this hard just to stay awake while meeting with you, you are dull and I'm leaving.  Goodbye.  

4: If you're the only one who says hi first, take a couple of days off.  People will think you're selfish taking all the initial hellos for yourself.

5. It smells like decay in here.  Maybe consider disposing of lunchtime garbage by leaving it somewhere else.

6. Draw pictures of bunnies.

Two Microphones, One Dream

I'm 27 today.

Since I don't have Facebook, I have to remind people the regular way that my birthday is coming up: mention it casually, hoping they'll throw me a party.

It worked.  If you're in town on Saturday night and of a legal age for FUN HAVING, join us at the 1029 and we will sing together.  

The Airport Code is EZE

Returned from our Naples trip having worn 1/3 of the items I brought along.  Upside: less laundry.  Downside: hauled a bunch of shit I didn't need all hither and thither.  

iPhone photo of a portion of the shit hauled: 7 pairs of footwear.

The wedding was extravagant, as destination weddings are wont to be: 300 people. $300,000 on food and drink.  You math that out, now.  

The town was...  I could have stayed in Naples, if I had wanted to get old and cranky.  Like, really?

I am about 10 pounds heavier (full of exhaustion (weighs a lot) and ice cream (weighs more)) but since I've got the itchy feet,

WE'RE GOING TO BUENOS AIRES.

Spontaneity spring break at the end of March!  

We booked the tickets yesterday in a feat of SuperHuman ImpulseStrength.  Tips? Ideas? Stowaway bids?

Shortfalls!

It's budget reduction time here in the education world. Woke up at 6:15 doing the silent dance of don't-wake-the-sleeping-puppy and then sat in a 7 am meeting about dollar reallocation.  Now my body is clamoring for endorphins chocolate.  I've given it ginger ale and cheddar rice cakes instead.  Because 8:30 am is too early, see?  Too early for chocolate.  

Never too early for the aftertaste of Canada Dry.

Nicki and I had week two of Community Ed hip hop dance class last night, after which some non-hip hop peeps got together to watch The Dark Knight.  Pretty sure my fitful sleep involved Heath Ledger in full Joker makeup and Beyonce's song "Ring the Alarm."  This and going through the mirror to Gumdrop Mountain is the stuff of dreams.    

Speaking of dreams and sunshine and Gumdrop Mountain (weren't we?), Matt and I leave for Florida tomorrow to shoot a destination wedding in picturesque Naples.  I have packed nothing.  At this point, I'm planning to go nude, so I'll need a good self-tanner.  Or!  Or a wetsuit I can borrow and wear for four straight days with accessories.  Suggestions welcome.

Anne Asked Her to Do It, But Still

Oh my goodness, I totally just got a shout out on Emily Style.  That "PS?" That was for me.  Yessssssss.

Blog boner!

Better than Cotillion

Student: "Hi.  You look tired."

Me: "You always say that."

"You always look tired."

"It's impolite, did you know that?  It's impolite to tell somebody they look tired."

"It is?"

"Yes.  And I'm not offended by it, but I want you to know, in case it comes up again, just don't say anything."

"So what should I say?"

"How about start with, 'Hi' and work from there."

"I did!"

"I know, but here's the thing: you're not my peer.  If at some point in the future you say that to your boss or something, then the next thing you know, somebody's like 'Oh, she's rude, we should fire her.'"

Then her chin starts to wobble.

"Ok."

"Ok."