Matt and I got in a fight last night on the way home from softball. Truthfully, it was his fault. (Ah! The power of a personal blog!). He related a joke he had heard at a meeting. I found it offensive and demeaning and I expressed my frustration.
We didn't speak for the rest of the night.
I went home and watched VH1 and was subdued with mind-numbing programming.
He called today:
"I just wrote a new song"
"Really?"
"Yeah. (pause) I'm sorry. I love all people including you and lesbians and I promise not to make fun of them or the cars they drive. And I promise not to put them or anyone into a category ever again."
Friday, April 15, 2005
TGI..NAM
WARNING: When you're in a room alone and it's silent and you're waiting to hear if there are mice about to descend from the ceiling to have a little Tax Day party on your floor, the noise of a printer may cause loss of bladder control.
Thursday, April 14, 2005
Never Gonna Give You Up
I do have good opinions. -Dan Signorelli
My favorite postings are the ones about the Ashlee Simpson show. Yessss.
And when you visit his dot com, be sure to turn up the volume while he pumps up the jam.
My favorite postings are the ones about the Ashlee Simpson show. Yessss.
And when you visit his dot com, be sure to turn up the volume while he pumps up the jam.
Wednesday, April 13, 2005
Jessica and the Mating Ritual
I've been waiting to post this all day!
I saw Matt getting hit on by a girl with lots of red hair.
He performs every Tuesday night in a newly smoke-free bar downtown. I have heard my share of "Free Bird" requests but this was the first time I'd seen a female approach him with anything but a beer.
Not that he doesn't deserve it--you should hear him sing Long Black Veil--it's just an odd thing to be front row when your boyfriend becomes prey.
Jessica stalked the microphone mid-song to offer some descants which were out of tune and the wrong words but totally raspy.
I may have laughed a little while she was singing or fixing her plumage (THREE TIMES), but I don't think that's why she packed up her bag and left alone.
Nope, I'm definitely not attributing it to myself. Or the rest of the table.
I saw Matt getting hit on by a girl with lots of red hair.
He performs every Tuesday night in a newly smoke-free bar downtown. I have heard my share of "Free Bird" requests but this was the first time I'd seen a female approach him with anything but a beer.
Not that he doesn't deserve it--you should hear him sing Long Black Veil--it's just an odd thing to be front row when your boyfriend becomes prey.
Jessica stalked the microphone mid-song to offer some descants which were out of tune and the wrong words but totally raspy.
I may have laughed a little while she was singing or fixing her plumage (THREE TIMES), but I don't think that's why she packed up her bag and left alone.
Nope, I'm definitely not attributing it to myself. Or the rest of the table.
Tuesday, April 12, 2005
Why we love Monica
1. She's real funny. For example: "Antlers, antennae...What am I, a scientist?" and "You guys are taking words out of my mouth and putting them places they should not be."
2. She dates hockey players. Gay ones.
3. She hates fat people, but only because they're a drain on society.
4. She smokes (only during Winter months and even then, not that often).
5. She wants to be a life coach. And give tough-love advice like her hero, Dr. Phil.
6. If she doesn't sleep at least eight hours every night, she starts judging people.
7. She'll choose Miller Lite even if someone else is paying.
8. She loves competition (and she'll f you up on the golf course, Jay).
9. She hates Brad Pitt for cheating on Jennifer Aniston.
10. She reminds us not to believe everything we read. But it's ok to believe everything Oprah says.
11. If Dr. Phil disagrees with Oprah, whatever Dr. Phil says is right.
2. She dates hockey players. Gay ones.
3. She hates fat people, but only because they're a drain on society.
4. She smokes (only during Winter months and even then, not that often).
5. She wants to be a life coach. And give tough-love advice like her hero, Dr. Phil.
6. If she doesn't sleep at least eight hours every night, she starts judging people.
7. She'll choose Miller Lite even if someone else is paying.
8. She loves competition (and she'll f you up on the golf course, Jay).
9. She hates Brad Pitt for cheating on Jennifer Aniston.
10. She reminds us not to believe everything we read. But it's ok to believe everything Oprah says.
11. If Dr. Phil disagrees with Oprah, whatever Dr. Phil says is right.
Friday, April 08, 2005
Dorsal Art
While Mom and I were on another moonlit walk last night (celebrating the season of warm), we discussed some papal business. Thanks again to this week of Spring Break-ing, I am glued to the television for all broadcasts of the Vatican City gatherings (simulcast upstairs and downstairs right now). My favorite part is pretending to translate the Italian. Mom's favorite part is hearing the quotes from the faithful, especially the elderly Polish man who said, "I love Pope."
Then we discussed economy of language. Why bother with extra words? (Why extra words?)
And then she said, "I can understand the allure of tats." Luckily, I peed before we left the house.
So we designed a portrait of PJPII to ink on her back.
Then we discussed economy of language. Why bother with extra words? (Why extra words?)
And then she said, "I can understand the allure of tats." Luckily, I peed before we left the house.
So we designed a portrait of PJPII to ink on her back.
Wednesday, April 06, 2005
Natural State: Gasless
I'm enjoying some time away from work on a brief hiatus we call Spring Break.
You may recall that my dial-up connection at home is equivalent to those who first piloted the internet, which means it will take me longer to publish this than to write it.
The following are experiences from my stint at home thus far:
1. You haven't really appreciated museum artworks until you've seen them next to a gaggle of school children: "Geeeh ewww! Why doesn't she have any clothes on?!"
2. Mom and I went to McDonald's last night at 9 because we hadn't eaten yet and it was our alternative to a "heavy" meal. We each got a cheeseburger and shared a milkshake.
3. My daily indigestion may result from chocolate intake. (Please, God, noooooooo!) I am exploring possible other causes as well.
4. I've watched approximately 10 hours of MTV's Inferno II.
5. It is possible that consumption of MTV's Inferno II is causing my indigestion.
You may recall that my dial-up connection at home is equivalent to those who first piloted the internet, which means it will take me longer to publish this than to write it.
The following are experiences from my stint at home thus far:
1. You haven't really appreciated museum artworks until you've seen them next to a gaggle of school children: "Geeeh ewww! Why doesn't she have any clothes on?!"
2. Mom and I went to McDonald's last night at 9 because we hadn't eaten yet and it was our alternative to a "heavy" meal. We each got a cheeseburger and shared a milkshake.
3. My daily indigestion may result from chocolate intake. (Please, God, noooooooo!) I am exploring possible other causes as well.
4. I've watched approximately 10 hours of MTV's Inferno II.
5. It is possible that consumption of MTV's Inferno II is causing my indigestion.
Friday, April 01, 2005
Just for fun
Because there's a $#&*($^#@ mouse in this room and I'm not getting work done anyway:
http://sites.gizoogle.com/?url=http://www.deletedeletedelete.blogspot.com
http://sites.gizoogle.com/?url=http://www.deletedeletedelete.blogspot.com
No Foolin
It is me and this f'ing rodent showdown right now. A mouse FELL OUT OF THE CEILING and landed by my feet. I AM NOT KIDDING.
It scurried across the room and has been relocating about every 15 minutes. THERE IS A LIVE ANIMAL IN THIS ROOM THAT IS NOT A PET OR INVITED. OH MY GOD. I AM SO DISGUSTED.
It scurried across the room and has been relocating about every 15 minutes. THERE IS A LIVE ANIMAL IN THIS ROOM THAT IS NOT A PET OR INVITED. OH MY GOD. I AM SO DISGUSTED.
Fruit on the bottom; hope on top
Nothing but love for our dearly departed St. Paul son, Mitch Hedberg.
Matt and I saw him at the Acme Comedy Club last year...maybe the year before that. We were delirious with enjoyment.
Please, (please with frozen bananas on top) listen to his stuff. You can get audio clips here and here and scroll down. And check out his website with road games and picswithmitch here.
Matt and I saw him at the Acme Comedy Club last year...maybe the year before that. We were delirious with enjoyment.
Please, (please with frozen bananas on top) listen to his stuff. You can get audio clips here and here and scroll down. And check out his website with road games and picswithmitch here.
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