Catatonic Carly

"The best part of wakin' up...is stickin to the couch."
She's singing to the tune of Folgers.
Carly has just spent the last few morning hours sleeping off her exhaustion after...sleeping.
She complained briefly about the heat, though she is wearing sweatpants and is covered by a down blanket. She threatened to turn on the air which we can't because
1. It's not actually that hot. She's got that just-woken-up-sweaty-nap thing happening.
2. Mom and I hate the air conditioning. All of the windows are closed and what since I'm so hard at work, sometimes I don't get to go outside that often. I love the smell of summer. That's enough to make me defend number 3...
3. No authority. When you live with the Poppa, you don't touch the thermostat.
Now she's talking to the tv: "My day just keeps getting better!...The Laguna Beach Preview Special and they introduced me to all new people. Then, I twisted my back. And then I burped."
Somebody employ this woman.