David Sedaris once said that he volunteers with elderly citizens because he wants to see their homes. He turns them into characters, exploiting them much like I do with my ESL students.
Pause to marvel at our shameless "research."
This afternoon I walked into two senior houses that should be quarantined, boarded up, nailed shut, stomped on and away from.
One man had signs around his lawn, porch, and doors that read "Beware of Dog." He has no dog, yet his house smells as if he were harboring one or more, perhaps deceased. Odors that burn the cilia from nostrils.
Another woman invited us in to see pictures of her 58 foster children. We had to eat lunch outside because her home stank so strongly of old carpeting that the group gagged while she spoke.
We worked outdoors at both places.
But this David Sedaris lives in Paris. Do old people stink in Paris? Do they invite you in for food you could not possibly consume lest it get caught in your windpipe causing you to spend longer in the home of vile stench? Do they have dogs? How about dead dogs beneath floorboards? Eh? Eh?
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